you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
