I need help removing her.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
