Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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