Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
