Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
