Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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