somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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