Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
