I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
