Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
