No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
