If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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