I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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