She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
