he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
