Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
