Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
