Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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