i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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