Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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