Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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