After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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