Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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