I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
