dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
