she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont even know how to be here
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
