glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you never un-have a 4some
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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