the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
