last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
