He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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