I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
