Is it normal to miss your booty call?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
