Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
