I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
