ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
