So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
