just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
