We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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