Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
