Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
