Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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