Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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