Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
