at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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