i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
