I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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