I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
