Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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