He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
