Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
